08-31-2025 - TOUGH TIMES - SHAME Luke 15:11-32

 MESSAGE BY PASTOR ROB INRIG

 FROM BETHANY BAPTIST IN RICHMOND, BC.

I invite you to pray together: O Father of mercies and God of all comfort, our only help in time of need: We humbly beseech thee to behold, visit, and relieve thy sick servants for whom our prayers are desired. Look upon them with the eyes of thy mercy ( Vicky O, Nancy R, Tere G, Liz N, Stevie A, Socrates D, Sara's mom H, Margarita G,   Rosy Ch, Patricia L., Lina J., Magda- Laci M., Gloria F., Mary Ann Bularan.)  Comfort them with a sense of thy goodness; preserve them from the temptations of the enemy; and give them patience under his affliction. In thy good time, restore them to health, and enable them to lead the residue of their life in thy fear, and to thy glory; and grant that finally they may dwell with thee in life everlasting; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

You can add names from family and friends who need prayer

We also pray especially for our dear friends who have passed away, Gaby and Yuya,

whom we entrust to our loving Father so that they may be awakened by the cry of his call

to enjoy his glory with eternal life (Rev. 11:15; 1 Thess. 4:16).

Amen!

This morning I want to look at the topic of shame, a subject that in our time seems like it belongs to past, ‘inhibited’ and ‘uninformed’ generations.  After all, our lives are more ‘educated’ influenced by different beliefs, different religions and different lifestyles.  We, people of greater ‘understanding’ that holds tolerance as a prime virtue. People valued for who they are, tolerance the essential, where we accept not judge.  And in this world, shame has little place.  

How could it?  ‘Tolerance’ requires a ‘live and let live’ mindset with little right for anyone to render judgment, except on the obvious ‘reprehensibles’.  With that, what’s to be ashamed about where people are able to live as they please?  If anything should be considered shameful, it’s those intolerant ones who hold different beliefs than the ‘liberated’ around them.

In this world with tolerance bowed to, restraints are removed. No longer sin but alternate ways of life. No longer wrong behaviour, just inappropriate ones. Life practiced in the dark, now flaunted, celebrated and promoted in daytime view. As someone observed, One generation tolerating a sin, the next generation celebrating that sin and the generation after that, no longer knowing it to be sin 

And calling this sin ???  Who gives you the right?

It’s to this the prophet Jeremiah speaks, Are they ashamed of their loathsome conduct? No, they have no shame at all. They do not even know how to blush  Jer 6:15.

Paul observes that people delight in things that should bring them shame, Rom 1 but Whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and WHOSE GLORY IS IN THEIR SHAME  Phil 3:19.   

For most of us, though, shame isn’t something we flaunt; it’s something we hide. We hearing its voice in the earliest pages of Scripture, in Adam and Eve, doing what the enemy tries to convince us to do - hide; convincing us, there is safety in hiding.  And yet the answer to shame is to do the opposite and come out of hiding - not to reveal or ignore our shame but to deal with it.

The problem is we’re prone to do what Adam did, I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself Gen 3:10.  Portraying that their shame was due to their nakedness - the fig leaf Adam and Eve tried to hide behind big enough for their physical nakedness; not big enough for their shame nakedness - their sin which no fig leaf was big enough to hide.  The enemy using that sin to plant roots of shame that tenaciously hold.  Reminding.  Condemning.  And it’s effective in doing that because it specializes in feelings – feelings that last and accusingly repeat long after an offense is done. 

There are many places in Scripture where shame is highlighted.  Among them a woman with 5 failed marriages or a powerful man who abused his power by sleeping with another man’s wife, then killing that man when his attempt to hide failed. And then there’s a woman who has been relegated to the sidelines of life, shamed because of a chronic health condition – this shame very different, not due to something she’d done but its message, the same, ‘not worthy, not good enough’.    

But her’s the difficulty - sin isn’t a feeling; it’s an offense.  It’s an action taken, a deed done, a thing spoken.  From those things, we will experience an emotion – feelings of guilt, feelings of shame.  Where we know we’ve done wrong.  But those feelings are alarms intended to drive us back to our offense and see it for what it is.  We feel guilty because we are guilty but God has provided an answer for our guilt - where we called to repent of our sin, The wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord Rom 6:23.  God’s forgiveness which removes our guilt and with that, God also delivering from ever present feelings that condemn with guilt. God’s reminder, There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus Rom 8:1.  

But that doesn’t mean God won’t bring conviction into our lives so we deal with our sin. In this a a sense in which shame is a God given smoke alarm, warning of danger that’s coming. Warnings to take action but let’s be honest, those sounds are often irritating. Too shrill.  Too demanding.  Too controlling. So wanting to end the sound of things done that we should not have done, we disengage the battery, rendering shame’s alarm inoperable or we recalibrate sensitivities so none of the manufacturer’s original conditions set it off.  And no fires seen, it’s far better re-purposed as a power’s off, emergency hall light rather than some loud sounding irritant. 

Some of the most toxic shame comes from what others have spoken into our lives. Shame we looked at few months ago like Jephthah whose brothers poured contempt on him. Yet their words not as toxic as his father’s silence who doesn’t put an end to the abuse.  The result, he paying a price that shouldn’t have been his to pay.  The silence of passivity from those who should be providing support.  And incredibly sad to say, sometimes parents as overt offenders, swift with rebuke, quick with disapproval, loud in messages of disappointment. Loud in words that demean, silent in words and actions that build up and affirm.  And the offspring of that, an identity given, You’re forever marred - a disowned child one short step away from disowning himself. 

Understand, shame is fluid.  That is when we try to push away, or push down our shame, it will leak out, finding other avenues in which to spread, sometimes into places you would never think it could go.  But it does. In time manifesting in addictions like the obvious ones we think of - numbing with alcohol, escaping into drugs, silencing with sex. Also seen in a compulsive drive to achieve or validating ourselves in acts of compassion.  Wanting to make amends by proving ourself better than who we were or better than the foolish things once done.  

The problem is this, shame is never satisfied by denial or celebratory embrace, it is only satisfied by putting it to death which is offered to us at the Cross.  The Cross not just paying for our sins but, Casting them as far as the east is from the west, that’s how far He has removed our transgressions from us Ps 103:12 That means our shame has also been dealt with in the same way. 

Corrie ten Boom said, God takes our sins – the past, present and future and dumps them in to the sea Mic 7:19 and puts up a sign that says, 'NO FISHING ALLOWED!   God casting our sin in the sea of His forgetfulness.  

Our problem is when it comes to the shame we still carry, we don’t fully believe that we don’t have to do something more. That we still have to fish to ‘make things right’, so we drop lines only to find ourselves hooking onto shame that is only too willing to be hooked and not let go. 

Imagine how different our relationship with God might be if we were to approach Him confident and unashamed, knowing we’ve been forgiven, convinced that He has set His affections upon us.

Because the Cross has given us the answer for our shame that we have been declared worthy when we repent and come to saving faith in Jesus.  At the Cross our sins are forgiven through the shed blood of Jesus.  When we do that, we can know what it means to feel the embrace of being treasured by God who because of our repentance can now be called our Heavenly Father.

One of the most vivid pictures God gives us of His forgiving love is offered to us in a story given us in earthly father delivery.     

To take a closer look, I want to dig into the story of the Prodigal son Lk 15. Of a man shamed by a son who rejected everything his father stood for and a son, who acted shamefully, his actions just short of telling his father he wished him dead so he could get on with his ‘party on’ life.  The demand he makes of his dad is not just outrageously entitled, it is audaciously offensive. Understand, to meet this demand, land and livestock needed to be liquidated.  That meant there was no private ATM withdrawal, a quick handshake then the son quietly sent on his way.  

No, this was public spectacle, with ‘fire sale’ brochures and For Sale sign exposure.  No hidden family discord here.  This was everything out in the open for everyone to see – private discord now public spectacle.  But why should the son care?  He was leaving all this behind.  And by all this, I mean ALL this.

His rejection not just of his dad or his family but of his people and his God.  We know this because he ended up in pig country which meant Gentile country.  It was a country he wanted to live large in.  Everything once denied him, now available in abundance.  Sex, drink, door never shut, lights always on parties.  And no one to tell him ‘no’.  Until that is, the lights went out, the music went silent and the party girls went home.  And when that happened all the ‘good times’ stopped.  The friends that stayed close as long as this young man financed the show, now gone off to the next extravaganza.  They - ‘partying on’; he - removed from the invite list.

Away from the party scene, his life spiralling downward.  Evicted from his residence with no credit to buy food, the one who lived as if there were no tomorrow finding out that tomorrow eventually arrives with a vengeance.  From party boy high to beggar dependent low which is why we now see him broken and defeated as he and pigs battle for corn husks.

The Pharisees hearing the first part of the story of the father’s disgrace would have been outraged but their anger turning to delight when they heard about the son’s fall from grace - the very thing that should happen to a son like this.   This should be where a shameful son like this ends up – living like a pig, the right place for someone who’d shamed his father as he had.  But these Pharisees also would have reserved some of their disdain for the father.  When the son demanded his portion of the inheritance, where  was the rebuke, where was the condemnation?  What sort of father gives into demands like these?  Surely this was a time to stand strong but instead, the father took the shame. 

The father would have been reminded of this in the marketplace. Some who previously bantered with him now moving to other vendors’ stalls.  A few spitting on the ground as he passed.  As they saw it, the enormity of the father’s shame brought about by his son’s actions should have resulted in ‘you’re no longer my son’ banishment but it hadn’t and in that, the father was almost as guilty as the son.  And standing outside the story, these self-righteous were only too happy to pile on the shame because the father hadn’t done what they felt should have been done.  

Because that’s shame’s nature - to pile on.  It’s good at that.  Even when we think it’s long gone, it does it’s best to find just the right time to return and remind.  Accusing.  Condemning.  Its voice always wanting to be heard.  

And then the story turns – from shame to redemption.  From rock bottom fall to amazing reclamation.  No worth to greater worth than could be imagined.  So he got up and went to his father. But while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I’m no longer worthy to be called your son.’  Lk 15:20,21.

Prior to this had you been a spectator, you would have seen a father doing what he’s done every day, squinting into the distance, hoping to see a returning son.  Yet day after day, nothing, just swirling sand.  Occasionally the appearance of something, then disassembling, just another illusion. But not this day. This day a silhouette that didn’t disassemble. It was his son, stumbling toward home.  And so the father ran – faster than he has ever run before.  The shame of words spoken – forgotten.  Lost possessions and sold land – forgotten.  Words spoken in the marketplace – forgotten.  Because forgetting is what love does when it is time for reconciliation.

Legs running toward the son told him everything he needed to know.  He’d been forgiven.  The father’s part already done – long before an embrace was felt, long before any words were spoken.  Forgiven. How can we be sure?  The father’s action tell us that.  In Eastern culture it was undignified for an older man to run.  To do so meant hiking up robes and exposing himself.  But the father didn’t care about the shame because when you are running to forgive, you do whatever it takes.  

Forgiveness doesn’t wait when a humbled offender is on his way home. Forgiveness can’t afford to wait lest the heaviness of guilt causes the offender to turn away. But the father had to run for another reason – he had to reach him before any villagers did.

The Jews had a discipline ceremony that would permanently banish the son from the community  This ceremony that severed connections was called the Kezazah which involved smashing a clay pot at the feet of the offender declaring that what had been broken could not be restored.  If the villagers got to him first, there would be nothing the son could say in his defense.  The community would administer the justice the father had failed to give.  

But mercy outruns justice.  Every time.  The father, despising the shame, running to forgive because while the village could render justice, they couldn’t do what only he could do, grant true forgiveness and offer full reconciliation.  He was the only one in mercy who could wipe away the offense. 

When they had last seen one another, he was loud, angry and proud.  So self-assured as he rejected everything his father stood for.  Now emaciated, his clothes in ruins, the bravado gone, a far cry from the son the father had known.  The perfect time for the, I told you so’s.  

But the father told his servants, ‘Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let’s celebrate with a feast, because this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is  found!’ So they began to celebrate   Lk 15:22-24.

Despite the father coming near, the son couldn’t have been ready for his father’s embrace.  He hadn’t been rehearsing his apology for that.  The best he was hoping for was acceptance as a slave and some small restoration – an out of the way, back room accommodation. But embrace?  That was all Grace.  Extravagant, not waiting to be earned, Grace.  In middle eastern culture a show of physical affection was not something commonly seen but this Father didn’t care which only begins the story.     

So much more to come beginning with the father’s best robe.  Not just one of the many hanging in the closet.  This was an Armani, reserved for special occasions.  The robe of honor.  So treasured that at the very least, propriety demanded that the son be cleaned up before it was put on.  It certainly wasn’t for someone who had shamed his father, cost his family generational possessions, and who rejected everything he had been raised to believe.   Yet around the shoulders of this pig smelling, excrement covered, emaciated son – the gift of the father’s best.

And the father’s best didn’t stop there – the gift of the father’s ring.  Dad’s ring of authority meaning everything the father had, belonged to him.  His inheritance wasn’t used up as should have been the case.  No, in the presence of the father so much more was his, because of his father’s incredible love.  His sin and iniquities, He will remember no more Jer 31:34  While he and we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly Rom. 5:8.  There is NO condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus  Rom 8:1.  No past to look back on.  No story of failure to repeat. But one more crucial step remained.  The embrace of the father along with the gift of the robe and the ring signified things the father had given.  They were now things the son possessed.  Things that enabled him to live differently – where he slept was different.  What he ate was different.  The things that surrounded were different.  

But the question that remained - was he different?  Different after the robe was taken off and the ring was placed on the side table.  Was he still a slave at heart?  Someone who still thought himself unworthy.  Still someone bearing the reputation who had forfeited what could have been.  The echo reminding of shame – not even worthy to be a servant.  Or had he stepped into who his father had declared him to be?  Not based on the things he had been but based on the identity he’d been given – a son.  Fully forgiven.  Entitled not just to the father’s things but fully entitled to the father’s heart, the father’s love.   

All answered in what seems to be the least of the gifts given when in fact, it could be the most precious gift of all – sandals.  Seemingly just standard issue.  But they were hardly that – most importantly because of where his feet had walked and what these sandals signified.

You see, the only ones who went barefoot were slaves which, in his shame, is how the son saw himself.   And yet these sandals – telling him something very different.  Calling him to walk according to who he NOW was – a fully restored son, no longer a slave.  Father forgiven.  Not finding his value in the things he possessed but finding his value, his true worth in the One who had taken possession of him – not in part but in whole.  With no residue of the past. 

That, my friends, is the incredible answer to our shame, the Father giving us the only value that counts.  A value beyond anything imagined.  His love lavished on us.  Our shame gone.   

Let me leave you with one last picture.  The pigpen in the distance, this son revelling in his new life.  What a difference!  His spacious elegant room.  His bed, blanketed in sheepskins.  Sounds of the pigs gone.  Food as much as he could want.  The new far more than deserved. 

And yet as darkness closed in, that familiar not worthy voice heard causing him to re-gather old pigpen clothes and bring them into his room.  Clutching them close, their smells reawakening his former life.  When it’s time to sleep, he draws them close as he retreats to the corner of the room where he curls up in a fetal position.  The luxury of bedding and a pillow ignored, a luxury he won’t allow himself.  Those things not fitting for one such as he.  OK – stop the picture!

Because that pictures is so VERY, VERY wrong. It’s a picture of lies and of a present that is not longer true.  Not because the son has pushed away the clothes but because the Father has burned every trace of the clothes. No part remains. The clothes of the past gone. The smell of the pigs washed away.  And in their place just the new to assure that the old has gone and the new has come.  God exchanging our old for His new and that means that we are to do the same.

The father wanting the son to fully understand that you can’t embrace the new while still clinging to the old. Question - are you still clinging to things of the past?  Are you allowing shame to hold you to things that, Christ’s blood tells you are no longer true?

So this morning, your choice – who are you going to listen to?  The Father whose word is true or some pig farmer who wants to keep you wallowing in the mud, feeding on corn husks.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away;

behold, all things are become new 2 Cor 5:17.    

Jesus – His arms opened wide, ready to embrace you!

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